Skip to main content

Our New Beginning


            My eyes flutter open and the world around me is fuzzy and disoriented. I hear nurses saying my name and they are asking me questions. Responding is difficult and I go in and out of consciousness. I am so tired I just want to close my eyes and give in, but I am told to stay awake. I am wheeled from the recovery room back to my room where Nate is waiting. I ask him if they got all the scar tissue and if we can have a baby now. His answer is not what I expected. It is difficult to comprehend what he is saying because of all of the medications, but I understand enough to know this surgery is not the end of the road. It is just the beginning.
            My doctor went in laparoscopically through small incisions in my belly button, below my bikini line and to the left side of my belly button. This would allow him to see all of my reproductive organs from above. He would clear out the scar tissue in my uterus and double check to make sure that my uterus, ovaries, and fallopian tubes were in good shape aside from the excess tissue. Unfortunately the scar tissue was just part of the problem. My doctor discovered that I have endometriosis covering my uterus and I also have a rare uterine abnormality. According to my research, it is the rarest of all uterine abnormalities. I have what is called a unicornuate uterus. This means that I only have half of a uterus. The other half of my uterus is there, but it didn’t grow like it was supposed to. My doctor has only seen one other case like mine and the other doctor assisting him has never seen anything like this before other then in text books.
            To hear news like this was heartbreaking. I thought we were so close and that this surgery was the last step before being able to have another baby. Unfortunately we still have a long road ahead of us. Nate and I will be meeting with a specialist from Salt Lake and our doctor here in Rexburg to figure out what our best option is. They will determine whether or not I should undergo another surgery to remove the half of the uterus that never developed to avoid a pregnancy on that side. I will also be put into menopause temporarily to help reduce the effects of the endometriosis.
            It has been difficult to stay positive the last few days with all of this new information, but Nate and I have been blessed to have incredible doctors that are optimistic and determined to make sure we have a healthy baby. We were told our pregnancies will be high risk and it is very unlikely that I will be able to carry full term due to the small size of my uterus, but Nate and I won’t give up on our dream of having a family regardless of how long and difficult the road is.
This gorgeous lady was the BEST NURSE EVER!!!

Here is my uterus. The section on the right is the side that did not form properly.  It is supposed to be the same size as the section on the left.

I was crazy drugged right here, but I needed a photo with my handsome hubby.



Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Goodbye Again

Wednesday June 22 nd My heart sank as I watched the ultrasound screen. I could tell something was wrong. When I had a 13-week ultrasound with Hunter, he was flipping around and kicking like crazy. He moved so much it was hard to get a clear photo of him. This time our little girl was completely still. Maybe she was asleep. Please, just let her be asleep. I tried to look for the flicker of her heartbeat, yet I couldn’t see anything. The ultrasound tech got a measurement and she was measuring a little small. I could feel my chest tightening and I could hear the sound of my own heartbeat pounding in my ears. I prayed our baby girl would move, but she stayed still.   The ultrasound tech looked at me and softly said she was going to go get the doctor. I knew what that meant and it wasn’t good. The doctor came into the room and confirmed I was having another miscarriage. The room felt like it was spinning. I prayed frantically, begging God to not let this be true. Please just let this be
6 comments
Read more

The Grieving Mother

You see me and I smile. You ask me how I am and I put on a brave face and tell you I am well, even if I’m not. A part of me wishes that I could show you a glimpse of the pain and love I feel, just so you could understand why I will never “get over it”. You would see memories that I play and replay, forever wondering if there was something I could have done to change the outcome-If there was something I could have done to save the lives of my children. If you could have a moment in my shoes, you would feel the aching of my empty arms and the overwhelming sorrow that I feel everyday, being the mom to four angels. If I could give you a peek into my life, you would feel the pain and disbelief as I remember the day I found out I was having a miscarriage for the first time. You would see my second pregnancy come to a devastating end at nineteen weeks and the day I gently placed my son in a casket, kissed his head and slowly closed the lid, knowing that was the last time I would see his
3 comments
Read more

Our "Matching" Story

           We are MATCHED!!! The adoption process so far has been such an incredible experience for Nate and I. A lot of people have been asking me how everything happened, so I thought it would be fun to tell the story of how we got matched. Just in case anyone isn't familiar with the term "matched" this means that we have been chosen by an expectant mother to become the adoptive parents of her child. It is a very exciting step! :) Also, out of respect for the expectant mother's privacy, we will not be giving any identifying information, so please don't be offended if you ask us a question and we choose not to answer. The best Christmas gift I could have ever dreamed of.         About a month a half ago, we received a message from an expectant mother. We had already spoken with a few other expectant mothers and while they were all amazing, something felt different as we spoke with this expectant mother. The conversation flowed easily and we had a lot in comm
3 comments
Read more