One Day At A Time

I have had this fantasy about finding out I was pregnant again. I would take a pregnancy test, get two blue lines and then surprise Nate in some cute and creative way. We would be nervous, but incredibly excited. The pregnancy would go smoothly and then we would have a beautiful and healthy baby. I know that having another child will never replace Hunter, but I believe it could help heal our broken hearts and fill our life with joy. Last Friday I woke up and I felt a flutter of excitement. I had a feeling that I was pregnant. The last time I had that feeling, I found out I was pregnant with Hunter. I didn’t want to get my hopes up, but as the day wore on and my period didn’t start I couldn’t help but get more excited. As soon as I got off of work I ran to the store to buy a pregnancy test and a Valentines card for Nate. I knew it was a little early to test, but as soon as I got home I took it. I tried to be calm as I washed my hands. I didn’t peek at the test for a full t...

This has been a day that I have been looking forward to and dreading at the same time. This is the day that the baby boy who was supposed to be my baby boy’s best friend was born. At around 6:30 this morning Nate got a call from our friend Marcus. He let us know that his wife, Rhiannon, was in the hospital and that she would be delivering soon. Rhiannon is one of my best friends and was due almost exactly a month before me. We were pregnant buddies. We talked about morning sickness and told each other when we felt our babies move. She found out she was having a boy a few weeks before our gender check. We joked around that if Nate and I had a girl, they would get married one day and if we had a boy, they would be best friends like us. Our other best friend, Hannah, began planning our double baby shower before we lost Hunter. After Hunter passed away I was so excited for Marcus and Rhiannon, but I was so sad that we didn’t have the happy ending that they were going to have. ...